diff --git a/pcsx2/GS/Renderers/HW/GSHwHack.cpp b/pcsx2/GS/Renderers/HW/GSHwHack.cpp
index 5f07b9a380..42c23e8563 100644
--- a/pcsx2/GS/Renderers/HW/GSHwHack.cpp
+++ b/pcsx2/GS/Renderers/HW/GSHwHack.cpp
@@ -216,20 +216,103 @@ bool GSHwHack::GSC_Tekken5(GSRendererHW& r, int& skip)
 
 bool GSHwHack::GSC_BurnoutGames(GSRendererHW& r, int& skip)
 {
-	if (RFBW == 2 && std::abs(static_cast<int>(RFBP) - static_cast<int>(RZBP)) <= static_cast<int>(BLOCKS_PER_PAGE) && (!RTME || RTPSM != PSMT8))
-	{
-		skip = 2;
-		return true;
-	}
+	// Burnout has a... creative way of achieving its bloom effect, to avoid horizontal page breaks.
+	// First they double strip clear a single page column to (191, 191, 191), then blend the main
+	// framebuffer into this column, with (Cs - Cd) * 2. So anything lower than 191 clamps to zero,
+	// and anything larger boosts up a bit. Then that column gets downsampled to half size, makes
+	// sense right? The fun bit is when they move to the next page, instead of being sensible and
+	// using another double strip clear, they write Z to the next page as part of the blended draw,
+	// setting it to 191 (in Z24 terms). Then the buffers are swapped for the next column, 0x1a40
+	// and 0x1a60 in US.
+	//
+	// We _could_ handle that, except for the fact that instead of pointing the texture at 0x1a60
+	// for the downsample of the second column, they point it at 0x1a40, and offset the coordinates
+	// by a page. This would need "tex outside RT", and no way that's happening.
+	//
+	// So, I present to you, dear reader, the first state machine within a CRC hack, in all its
+	// disgusting glory. This effectively reduces the multi-pass effect to a single pass, by replacing
+	// the column-wide draws with a fullscreen sprite, and skipping the extra passes.
+	//
+	// After this, they do a blur on the buffer, which is fine, because all the buffer swap BS has
+	// finished, so we can return to normal.
 
-	// We don't check if we already have a skip here, because it gets confused when auto flush is on.
-	if (RTME && (RFBP == 0x01dc0 || RFBP == 0x01c00 || RFBP == 0x01f00 || RFBP == 0x01d40 || RFBP == 0x02200 || RFBP == 0x02000) && RFPSM == RTPSM && (RTBP0 == 0x01dc0 || RTBP0 == 0x01c00 || RTBP0 == 0x01f00 || RTBP0 == 0x01d40 || RTBP0 == 0x02200 || RTBP0 == 0x02000) && RTPSM == PSMCT32)
+	static u32 state = 0;
+	static GIFRegTEX0 main_fb;
+	static GSVector2i main_fb_size;
+	static GIFRegTEX0 downsample_fb;
+	static GIFRegTEX0 bloom_fb;
+	switch (state)
 	{
-		// 0x01dc0 01c00(MP) ntsc, 0x01f00 0x01d40(MP) ntsc progressive, 0x02200(MP) pal.
-		// Yellow stripes.
-		// Multiplayer tested only on Takedown.
-		skip = 3;
-		return true;
+		case 0: // waiting for double striped clear
+		{
+			if (RFBW != 2 || RFBP != RZBP || RTME)
+				break;
+
+			// Need a backed up context to grab the framebuffer.
+			if (r.m_backed_up_ctx < 0)
+				break;
+
+			// Next draw should contain our source.
+			GSTextureCache::Target* tgt = g_texture_cache->LookupTarget(r.m_env.CTXT[r.m_backed_up_ctx].TEX0,
+				GSVector2i(1, 1), r.GetTextureScaleFactor(), GSTextureCache::RenderTarget);
+			if (!tgt)
+				break;
+
+			// Clear temp render target.
+			main_fb = tgt->m_TEX0;
+			main_fb_size = tgt->GetUnscaledSize();
+			r.m_cached_ctx.FRAME.FBW = tgt->m_TEX0.TBW;
+			r.m_cached_ctx.ZBUF.ZMSK = true;
+			r.ReplaceVerticesWithSprite(GSVector4i::loadh(main_fb_size), main_fb_size);
+			bloom_fb = GIFRegTEX0::Create(RFBP, RFBW, RFPSM);
+			state = 1;
+			GL_INS("GSC_BurnoutGames(): Initial double-striped clear.");
+			return true;
+		}
+
+		case 1: // reverse blend to extract bright pixels
+		{
+			r.ReplaceVerticesWithSprite(GSVector4i::loadh(main_fb_size), main_fb_size);
+			r.m_cached_ctx.ZBUF.ZMSK = true;
+			state = 2;
+			GL_INS("GSC_BurnoutGames(): Extract Bright Pixels.");
+			return true;
+		}
+
+		case 2: // downsample
+		{
+			const GSVector4i downsample_rect = GSVector4i(0, 0, main_fb_size.x / 2, main_fb_size.y / 2);
+			r.ReplaceVerticesWithSprite(downsample_rect, GSVector4i::loadh(main_fb_size), main_fb_size, downsample_rect);
+			downsample_fb = GIFRegTEX0::Create(RFBP, RFBW, RFPSM);
+			state = 3;
+			GL_INS("GSC_BurnoutGames(): Downsampling.");
+			return true;
+		}
+
+		case 3:
+		{
+			// Kill the downsample source, because we made it way larger than it was supposed to be.
+			// That way we don't risk confusing any other targets.
+			g_texture_cache->InvalidateVideoMemType(GSTextureCache::RenderTarget, bloom_fb.TBP0);
+			state = 4;
+			[[fallthrough]];
+		}
+
+		case 4: // Skip until it's downsampled again.
+		{
+			if (!RTME || RTBP0 != downsample_fb.TBP0)
+			{
+				GL_INS("GSC_BurnoutGames(): Skipping extra pass.");
+				skip = 1;
+				return true;
+			}
+
+			// Finally, we're done, let the game take over.
+			GL_INS("GSC_BurnoutGames(): Bloom effect done.");
+			skip = 0;
+			state = 0;
+			return true;
+		}
 	}
 
 	return GSC_BlackAndBurnoutSky(r, skip);